The Consequences of Indecision and 5 Reasons You Get Stuck
Do you avoid making decisions, procrastinate or simply don’t like making them?
From the moment we wake up to a new day we’re faced with a stream of decisions until we go to bed again – apparently it’s in the thousands!
If you’re waking up feeling that anxious sensation in the pit of your stomach that you can’t put your finger on, it may be because you know how many decisions are ahead of you.
How does indecision affect your life?
Simple put, you feel stuck and frustrated, you lose confidence and trust in yourself, others get frustrated and stop trusting you and you miss out on opportunities that could greatly enhance your life.
So why are you avoiding making decisions?
Not making a decision by default is a decision in itself. If you decide not to decide, you give up your power of choice and someone else will step in to buy that white bag, take that job, start that new project or buy that car.
To help you understand yourself a little better, here are five reasons that you might be getting stuck.
1. Allowing others to influence you
You may already know what you want to do but you’re concerned about displeasing others or risking their disapproval. This will only cause you guilt and resentment in the long run because you know you’re not being true to your needs.
2. FOMO – fear of missing out
You may fear making a decision because you don’t know if you’ll be able to squeeze every last morsel of benefit from that decision. You get all caught up jumping up and down in that one puddle and miss jumping through all of them!
3. Overthinking
If you tend to be an over-thinker, then you probably struggle making decisions. Overthinking leads to second-guessing your instinct, which leads to self-doubt, which leads to anxiety.
4. Wanting the perfect outcome
Does perfectionism creep into your decision-making process? Do you buy a ticket for the concert on Friday night or Saturday night because one of these might lead to a better night out than the other, but who’s to know right now anyway? Do you go to yoga first or after your catch up with a friend? Do you watch TV program a or b? If you are striving for the perfect outcome every time, you’re cheating yourself out of experiencing life as it comes, and the potential for even better experiences than you could have planned.
5. Avoiding responsibility
Don’t like the idea of being held responsible for your decisions? If you don’t make them, someone else will and you’ll always feel like you are playing catch up. Whatever your age is, wisdom and maturity develop from taking 100% responsibility for the decisions you make – good or bad. Ouch, I know that one is a little rough, but it’s true.
And so what if you make the wrong decision?
There is a consequence to every decision we make. Whether you like that consequence or not is not guaranteed, no matter how small or big the decision is.
And we make the best decision we can at the time with the information we have. We get feedback, good or bad, and move on. Isn’t that the reason life is a journey and an experience, not a destination?
The more you get on with making decisions the more you learn to trust yourself and the more confidence you’ll have. With practise you’ll get better at making good decisions which will ultimately support your wellbeing.
5 resources to help you
Make Better Decisions: 6 Steps To Help You Decide What’s Right For You with Marie Forleo
We make decisions all day long, even not deciding is making a decision by default. To develop confidence in your decision-making ability however requires practise. Marie Forleo outlines 6 steps to train your brain to get better at making small and big decisions.
https://www.marieforleo.com/2015/02/how-to-make-better-decisions/
How To make Better Decisions | 3 Quick Tips | BBC Ideas
All decisions big or small consume the same energy according to research! So by eliminating some small decisions, for example, what to wear every day, or what to eat every morning, you are saving energy for making the more important and bigger decisions.
Podcast: How To Make Better Decisions with Jessi Hempel and Daniel Pink
Did you know that the harder the decision the less likely we will spend enough time researching it in order to decide. Mainly because we fear regret and because of FOBO!
Jessi interviews Daniel Pink who has just released a new book “The Power of Regret”. He believes that having no regrets is nonsense and that there is no need to fear regret because we learn so much from any forward action we take – good or bad.
Listen to the podcast here – 32 mins
Why You Might Be Taking Too Long To Make A Decision
Patrick McGinnis, US venture capitalist who coined the term FOMO, has coined a new term, FOBO – or “fear of better options”.
FOBO is defined as indecision when the decision is simple, or the options all acceptable, but you’re still not making a decision. It can occur everywhere from minor decisions such as what to watch on Netflix, to major decisions such as buying a house.
This article explores FOBO, analysis by paralysis and commitment issues related to decision-making.
Do you take hours to make a simple decision? You may have FOBO
Understand Your Brain And Why It Makes The Decisions That It Does
Are you ever in control of your decision making?
According to this article the answer is no. Unless, you remain in a state of clam and can bypass your normal behaviour patterns or habits, you’re making decisions based on emotions, not logic.
This article discusses how the brain has neuroplasticity and that you can train your brain to change using “Self-Directed Neuroplasticity”, making better decisions that are aligned with your higher goals. The untrained brain is focused on survival, not creativity, and will make short term survival decisions which might help right now, but will have negative repercussions down the track.
The one thing that always helps me make a decision when I’m being indecisive is…. going for a walk. There is nothing I need to do but meander at my own pace. I’m not hurried and I can sit by a tree and just be. It lightens the load of the decisions I need to make and the answers come of their own accord without me having to chase them.
With love, Gina Kasmas #verywellthankyou